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    Things to Do in San Francisco

    75 Things You Can Do in San Francisco This Weekend

    A guide arranged in no particular order — except the order in which they occurred to me while imagining I had already had two coffees and a pastry that cost more than a used Honda.

    Stylized illustration of San Francisco landmarks: Golden Gate Bridge in fog, cable car, sourdough, Painted Ladies, sea lions

    San Francisco is one of those cities where, if you stand still too long, something artisanal will happen to you. Possibly involving sourdough. Possibly involving a man named Trevor who "used to be in tech but now is really into fermentation."

    So if you find yourself here this weekend, congratulations. You have accidentally made a good decision.

    Below are 75 things you can do, arranged in no particular order except the order in which they occurred to me while imagining I had already had two coffees and a pastry that cost more than a used Honda.

    1–10: The Classics (You Are Legally Required to Consider)

    1. 01Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge and wonder why you wore a light jacket.
    2. 02Take a ferry to Alcatraz Island and reflect on your life choices, especially the ones involving ferries.
    3. 03Visit Fisherman's Wharf and eat something that was swimming earlier that day and is now fried.
    4. 04Watch sea lions at Pier 39 argue about something important, probably fish.
    5. 05Ride a San Francisco Cable Car while clinging to the side like a Victorian ghost.
    6. 06Get lost in Golden Gate Park and emerge hours later with a new personality.
    7. 07Take photos of the Painted Ladies and pretend you are in the opening credits of Full House.
    8. 08Go to Lombard Street and question geometry.
    9. 09Walk through Chinatown and buy something you did not plan to buy.
    10. 10Stare at the fog rolling in like it owns the place. (It does.)

    11–25: Food, Glorious Food (Bring Elastic Waistbands)

    1. 11Eat a Mission burrito the size of a newborn.
    2. 12Have clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl and accept your destiny.
    3. 13Wander the Ferry Building Marketplace sampling things until you forget your original personality.
    4. 14Order coffee that has tasting notes like "regret" and "citrus."
    5. 15Stand in line for brunch. This is not optional; it is a civic ritual.
    6. 16Eat dim sum and point confidently at things you cannot identify.
    7. 17Try artisanal ice cream that includes herbs you thought were for cooking chicken.
    8. 18Go to Ghirardelli Square and consume chocolate in quantities that concern medical professionals.
    9. 19Drink wine and say things like "mouthfeel."
    10. 20Eat avocado toast that costs more than your first car.
    11. 21Have oysters and briefly become a person who knows about oysters.
    12. 22Visit a bakery and buy six things because "they looked small."
    13. 23Try a tasting menu and nod thoughtfully between courses.
    14. 24Eat something vegan and be pleasantly surprised.
    15. 25Eat something not vegan and be loudly unsurprised.

    26–40: Culture, Arts, and Things That Make You Feel Smarter

    1. 26Visit San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and say "interesting" a lot.
    2. 27Go to the de Young Museum and take the elevator to the tower for views.
    3. 28Stroll the Palace of Fine Arts and feel like you wandered into ancient Rome, but with better parking.
    4. 29Explore Mission murals and take photos that make you look culturally engaged.
    5. 30Visit the Beat Museum and contemplate poetry.
    6. 31Go gallery hopping and nod silently.
    7. 32Watch a street performer who is somehow both amazing and confusing.
    8. 33See live theater and feel sophisticated.
    9. 34Attend an improv show and laugh nervously.
    10. 35Go to a bookstore and buy something you swear you will read.
    11. 36Sit in a park and journal for exactly three minutes.
    12. 37Listen to live jazz somewhere dimly lit.
    13. 38Pretend to understand abstract sculpture.
    14. 39Visit a historic house and whisper.
    15. 40Attend a lecture and check your phone discreetly.

    41–55: Outdoorsy Things (Nature, But With Better Coffee Nearby)

    1. 41Hike Lands End Trail and take dramatic cliff photos.
    2. 42Walk Crissy Field and watch kite surfers defy physics.
    3. 43Drive to Twin Peaks and realize the city is, in fact, hilly.
    4. 44Go to Baker Beach and encounter unexpected nudity.
    5. 45Explore the Presidio and feel outdoorsy without commitment.
    6. 46Rent a bike and question your cardio.
    7. 47Walk across a neighborhood you've never heard of and immediately want to live there.
    8. 48Sit by the ocean and contemplate seals.
    9. 49Picnic in a park with food you bought impulsively.
    10. 50Watch the sunset and say "wow" like everyone else.
    11. 51Take a yoga class outdoors and wobble.
    12. 52Go bird watching and pretend you know birds.
    13. 53Walk your friend's dog and bond instantly.
    14. 54Find a hidden staircase and climb it heroically.
    15. 55Check the weather, then ignore it.

    56–75: Delightfully Random San Francisco Things

    1. 56Wander Haight-Ashbury and consider tie-dye.
    2. 57Drink espresso in North Beach like a poet.
    3. 58Take a photo of the Castro Theatre sign at night.
    4. 59Go to a farmers market and buy vegetables you will forget in your fridge.
    5. 60Ride a cable car again because you enjoyed the danger.
    6. 61Browse a vintage shop and almost buy a hat.
    7. 62Go to a trivia night and answer one question confidently.
    8. 63Attend a pop-up event you found on Instagram five minutes ago.
    9. 64Watch street musicians and tip generously.
    10. 65Visit a tech office lobby and feel underdressed.
    11. 66Take photos of doors. (This is a thing.)
    12. 67Go to a rooftop bar and pretend you are in a movie.
    13. 68Try a cocktail with a name like "Fog Whisperer."
    14. 69Listen to someone explain blockchain.
    15. 70Smile politely.
    16. 71Go to a comedy show and laugh loudly.
    17. 72Make a new friend in line for something.
    18. 73Get slightly lost and discover something better.
    19. 74Decide you might move here someday.
    20. 75Realize you already sort of have, emotionally.

    Final Thought

    San Francisco is not a place you "see." It's a place that happens to you. Usually while you're holding a pastry.

    Enjoy your weekend. Bring layers. And if someone offers you something fermented, just nod and accept it.

    Add #76: See the Highest-Rated Show in the City

    Spend an evening inside our 44-seat Moroccan theater for close-up magic and mentalism — the kind of weekend story you'll actually retell on Monday.

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